Nightmares

Last night I had a nightmare, I woke up and was beside myself.

It seemed to last the entire night, but I can explain it very briefly. Dan, the kids and I were in the midst of some war. The military police came for us and were going to execute us. We had the choice of giving them our children so they would not be executed or they could be executed with us. The decision was up to me. I at first said yes because I did not want to let them be subject to whatever these people would do to them. Then a small voice in me said, "Is deciding when my children are going to die really my choice? Where is your faith in God?"

Then I quickly awoke and was beside myself. I just prayed, prayed that if I was ever in that situation that I would make the right choice and gave thanks because at this moment I am not faced with that situation. Throughout today I have been thinking of this dream, to no avail of course. I just needed to get it out, to stop thinking about it.

It has been a hard week. The Husband left for an extended trip right when we were getting ill. Soon after he left I went to the doctor...double ear infection. The medicine prescribed to me is reeking havoc on my body. I cannot hear and have three kids to care for. Today I slept in until 9am...not on purpose. I could not hear my alarm that was supposed to wake me and then slept through the cries of my poor baby. I received news last night that my husband's trip was extended for 2 days. So where is the joy in this...?

I made a library bag for GI
I am finishing up a pair of pants for AK
I am reading a wonderful book that will help me form my children's worldview
I am saved, through God's gift of Jesus
I have a son that creates gifts for me and comforts me with his words.
I will regain my hearing back
I get to see my children smiling even though I cannot hear their peals of laughter