Sunday, May 30, 2010

Eleanor Rian

So I am a little late on this post(:  Eleanor Rian made her arrival early Saturday morning...two Saturdays ago! 

She is beautiful...she is perfection.  She is a great nurser and is just complete and total sweetness.

I delivered her completely natural, no pain meds or anything...yes I am taking a moment to brag about this.  I was really doubtful on whether or not I was going to make it initially.  But it was amazing.  My doula was amazing.  I was able to give birth to Eleanor in water and it was amazing.  I feel like I can now stop having kids...I have had the most perfect birth(: 

Now all I have left is to raise her...

Monday, May 3, 2010


The process or an instance of passing from one form, state, or stage to another.

So, my doula informed me the other day that I have never gone through transition unmedicated before.  I have been panicking.  Seriously doubts have started crossing my am I going to do this?  So, I read this book last night that informed me that I just need to let go.  I just need to breath and let my body take over...I can do this.  It is okay to not be in control, so...check...not in control.

Today my husband came home from work and gave me news that he is probably not going to be here after the baby is born and for a long period of time there after.  If the baby is born a week late, he will not be here either.  Panic.  I am not making it right now.  What am I going to do?  Suddenly I cannot breath again. 

Transition.  I am getting ready to physically go from one stage to another in labor.   It scares me a bit, but I know that I can do it.  Natalie, my doula, will be right there with me.  She will be my strong hold, she will carry me through. 

Transition.  Have I not asked for this spiritual transition?  This is what I plead for, strive for, beg for.  So, I need to loose control.  Christ, my spiritual doula, will be right there with me.  He will be my strong hold, he will carry me through this transition.  Breath Melissa...just breath. 

Faithful one, so unchanging
Ageless one, you're my rock of peace
Lord of all I depend on you
I call out to you, again and again
I call out to you, again and again

You are my rock in times of trouble
You lift me up when I fall down
All through the storm
Your love is, the anchor
My hope is in You alone