Ugh...it really stresses me out to hear one of my babies crying. "Stresses me out" that is definitely the understatement of the century. I am sitting here eating marshmallows and chocolate bars leftover from a previous camping trip.
Funny how I spent over 9 months anticipating, yearning for...the first cry...the relief that washed over me, almost as intense as the relief my body felt when he was born.
I am so tired these days, really I want to be the one crying. I am broken, I must be. Right now I feel like everything around me is falling apart, that I am falling apart. Today that is the way I feel.
I know tomorrow it will be better...with each breath it really seems to be better, but I have always been an optimist. I know what is wrong, granted life is a little hectic these days, but I am skimping on my quiet times.
I really am noticing lately that my relationship with God is a convenience. I do not want to be that way. No relationship is easy, you really have to work for it, you have to sacrifice for it. I am so lacking. But here I am, at yet another turning point.
"There is hope for me yet because God won't forget all the plans He's made for me."
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