Testimony

So, I am giving my testimony in church tomorrow.  It has been a rough week.  I almost called the pastor and asked if I could reschedule or just forgo it all together.  I feel like an impostor, a fake, a fraud. 

It has been a hard week of looking back at what has brought me here.  The mistakes I have made, how they have affected my children...how they are still affecting my children.  It is a lot to think about.  It is easy to look back and see where you have failed and become so morose about it all.  It is easy to think about what would have happened, if only I had done this instead of this.  That isn't life though.  I do not know what would have happened, and it is a waste of my time to think about it.  I do know that in my sin I turned away from God and know that I am really weary of doing that again. 

So, I am trying to move forward...keep moving forward.  I am trying to align my plan with God's plan...correction...I am trying to dispose of my plan and follow where God leads me.  What does that look like?  I don't know...I just started today...maybe a couple of hours ago to be exact(:  All I know is that there is hope.  His mercies are new every morning.  He is persistent, patient and loving.  He has it all covered.

Come to me, 

all who labor and are heavy laden, 

and I will give you rest.  

Take my yoke upon you, 

and learn from me, 

for I am gentle and lowly in heart, 

and you will find rest for your souls.  

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30