Tonight I can write the saddest lines
Write, for example, the night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
I memorized it completely one night that I was broken up with...I thought I knew pain then(:
Today I cried in church. My entire life I have cried in church, just been overwhelmed by emotions, but always tried to stop it. Today I cried unchecked. I did nothing to stop the abundance of tears that were streaming down my face. I walked into church late as they were singing the last lines of "Lead Me to the Cross". I fumbled with a stranger to find a seat in the back. I sat in the very last row with Ike in my arms crying...trying to explain that I was not sad...not in the way he was thinking.
It feels so good to be in the land of the living again, even if it means that I will cry each and every Sunday. It is okay. Just to feel again...it is coming back. With this grief that is leaving my body, joy will replace it. I am wretched...I am...but He is persistently, patiently and lovingly willing to change me. May I never turn back, I will stumble, but may I never turn back.
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