Today I found myself googling the genetic counselor that told me that Luke had Spina Bifida. Even more amazing I dialed her number and called. She picked up.
Time is hazy. I still have to count to figure out how old Luke would be. He would 7 this year. So, just almost exactly 7 years ago I walked into the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth VA very nervous. I was wearing a pair of Dan's jeans and a pink shirt. It was just a week before Valentine's Day. I walked in there such an innocent. Thinking that I could overcome anything...thinking I was untouchable. I left feeling like I was an untouchable. Not to be dramatic. I had no place. I couldn't hang out with the happy mothers to be who were awaiting perfection. I could not mourn with the unfortunate mothers who endured a miscarriage. I was lost.
So, later that day I met with my genetic counselor. She was this awesome lady, totally a kindred spirit. She was an old friend in a stranger's body. We lost touch over the years, but today I called her. It was nice to talk to someone who knew Luke.
He always kicked at the same time everyday. Sweet Luke. I miss him. Today I will hold my kids a little tighter, a little longer. Today I will let the tears spill over. Sweet Luke.
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Love you Missy and hope you were comforted today.
ReplyDeleteOn the 1st I began praying- for you, for me. Life is filled with so many things to give to the Lord, isn't it? May He be glorified more and more as He continues to mend and build. I love you so much!! Love, HOLL
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