Rearranging Life

We have been moving things around in our house. I put Al and JQ in the same room. Right now I am in my bed nursing Eleanor. I can hear their sweet voices chattering. I am so thankful for this!

A circle that is closer to being complete

Today I found myself googling the genetic counselor that told me that Luke had Spina Bifida.  Even more amazing I dialed her number and called.  She picked up.

Time is hazy.  I still have to count to figure out how old Luke would be.  He would 7 this year.  So, just almost exactly 7 years ago I walked into the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth VA very nervous.  I was wearing a pair of Dan's jeans and a pink shirt.  It was just a week before Valentine's Day.  I walked in there such an innocent.  Thinking that I could overcome anything...thinking I was untouchable.  I left feeling like I was an untouchable.  Not to be dramatic.  I had no place.  I couldn't hang out with the happy mothers to be who were awaiting perfection.  I could not mourn with the unfortunate mothers who endured a miscarriage.  I was lost.

So, later that day I met with my genetic counselor.  She was this awesome lady, totally a kindred spirit.  She was an old friend in a stranger's body.  We lost touch over the years, but today I called her.  It was nice to talk to someone who knew Luke.

He always kicked at the same time everyday.  Sweet Luke.   I miss him.  Today I will hold my kids a little tighter, a little longer.  Today I will let the tears spill over.  Sweet Luke.

Things I hear when I am not in the same room...

Ike:  Moommm!  Jacquelyn is chewing her french fries and regurgitating them on my desk!

Mom:  Ike, do you know where your history book is, I cannot find it.
Ike:  I am astonished that we cannot find it, bewildered.

Why I am ready for Heaven...

I am ready for heaven because all the barriers we have will be broken down.  There will no longer be a language barrier to contend with.  Really I am looking forward to there being a lack of communication barriers.  I am looking forward to not unintentionally injuring people with my words and vice versa.  I am looking forward to saying something and the true meaning is instantly, readily evident.

I am tired of email where words and meanings can be misconstrued.  I wish that we could just always read and think the best of people's words. 

Today I am faced with reality. I am waiting in the parking lot whilst my husband is being seen at the Navy clinic. While we were waiting an elderly lady parked next to us. Glancing over I noticed she was having a hard time getting out of her car, not physically by mentally. Kind of like she was nervous. Then she opened her door and hit our car. The kids were appalled. I reassured them that really it was okay.

I will be that lady. How will I be loved or appreciated? How will I be seen by others? Will I be a burden or a blessing? Time goes by so quickly. I know this...I live this. What am I teaching my kids? Am I teaching them to seek after the Lord with all there heart or am I teaching them that it is okay to put Him on the shelf while life is busy to pick Him up at a more convienient time? Reality is not so fun to face at times.

Well, my time is up here...blogging that is...

Socks

How is your day going? I slipped on my socks today to find a hole cut above the big toe of my 12 dollars socks. No big deal I initially thought, but I am realizing that it kind of is because this year my winter shoes are an old pair of Birkenstocks. Sigh...

Thinking Over Popcorn

Snack time at our house has become a little hectic.  We are trying to go wheat-free and everything has wheat.  So, this afternoon the Boyscouts saved us.  I bought some of their popcorn this past trip to the commissary...did you know that it is naturally both sugar and gluten free?  Yup.

So, I am popping popcorn thinking about homeschoolers.  My husband was at first hesitant to the idea of homeschooling because he didn't want our kids to have that sort of awkwardness that homeschoolers sometimes have...no offense.  Really though I have that social awkwardness and I have never been home-schooled.  Okay, before I step on anymore toes...I was thinking of ways to prevent Ike from being "different".  Then I remembered that this is not our home.  This Earth I do not belong to.  I am not supposed to purpose to be the same as other people, but actually want them to see a difference in me.  The difference that Christ makes.  I do not want to raise children who belong in it either. 

So, that is my thought for today...